


Gasping for you

by Sundowntap



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Childhood Friends, Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Helping, Hurt Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Injury Recovery, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Pining, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Soft Tsukishima Kei, big oops, bruised lung, distraught, oops angst, severe accident, some body dysphoria, theyre canon idc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22945129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundowntap/pseuds/Sundowntap
Summary: Karasuno was against Aoba Johsai in a heated match. The ravens were winning. And for a rare chance, Yamaguchi was playing. Oikawa stepped forward, his grip on the ball firm enough to almost burst it. Aoba Johsai was behind 4 points, and with each second, fury grew inside Oikawa. The ball was tossed into the air before Oikawa battered it down. It was sloppy, he hadn't aimed properly, and so Yamaguchi was caught in the direct line of the ball. He watched in slow motion as the sphere plunged past his arms by mere millimetres, and directly into his chest, knocking him back. Air left his lungs sooner than the ball left his body, which plunged to the floor as the ball circled up again. He was numb but at the same time his chest hurt indescribably. He gasped for air, clutching his chest. His ears rang loudly and he could barely hear the ball being passed, and Takeda's voice approaching him. He even saw Tsukki looking at him, his furrowed eyebrows highlighting his obvious concern. However, Yamaguchi wasn't important. The ball was still being passed. The match was the priority and he wasn't going to let his accident cost the team- no matter how much pain he was in. It was just a bruise at worst, he thought. But was it that minor?
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 140





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First I'd like to state that I'm no way experienced or know anything professional about medical conditions, I tried to get as much information from the internet but forgive me if there's factual mistakes!  
> Please also forgive me if there's some messed up writing or spelling, I'm the only one reading and writing this and I am determined to get this out as quickly as i can  
> OK anyway  
> I love this ship soooo much as much as i love angst and hope this satisfies any other tsukkiyama shippers :))

Asahi blew the ball through the defence. He landed back on his feet and heard Nishinoya yell in glory. Yet another point to Karasuno, it really was their lucky day. A day that got even better when Aoba Johsai scowled at yet another loss before getting back into position. Yamaguchi took a deep breath as he changed his posture, adrenaline raging though him the same amount as anxiety. He glanced at Tsukishima, who returned the look. They shared a victorious smile, though Tsukishima's was much subtler.

It was rare when Yamaguchi got to actually play, especially with Tsukishima, so he treasured each second. His first two jump serves were almost perfect, his third flying straight to a setter, but overall, he was doing well. He even had managed to pass one or two, and didn't completely fuck them up. Needless to say, he was determined to win this game. 

Still, Oikawa was even more determined. It was a simple match, it wasn't the Nationals or anything, but it meant the world and more to Oikawa. It meant everything to him to win, especially against Karasuo. His grip on the ball was almost firm enough to burst it, as he stepped in. Everyone had their eyes glued to the ball as it was tossed up, then battered down in a split second with immense force. The few audience members audibly awed at such a move. But to Oikawa, it was one of the worst in the games. It was sloppy. His emotions took control over his body, resulting in intensity, but little aim. He had served it directly towards a player- Yamaguchi.

This serve was difficult to hit even if en experienced player had it directly coming their way, not to mention for Yamaguchi. He was never excellent at passing, either not being fast enough or miscalculating the direction, he barely improved no matter how many times Sugawara served to him. And his strength. His body was always slender and quite tender, no matter how many beatings or meals he took.

Whenever Karasuno were in the changing rooms, self-conscious feelings would fill his body. Yamaguchi knew he didn't look _bad,_ he had good proportions and fairly smooth, soft skin despite his freckles-which was a whole other topic he detested about himself. But he didn't have no where near the amount of bulk and muscle his teammates had. He noticed that even other first years, such as Kageyama, had quite a good bit of brawn, while his arms still hadn't changed much from middle school. 

Yamaguchi guessed that his doubts showed on his face, not a rare occurance, as Tsukishima would elbow him gently to snap him out of it. It always made yamaguchi jump, even a little, as Tsukishima would then give him a look. It wasn't as subtle as his other looks. It was a soft but still stern look of "stop worrying". It made Yamaguchi smile at his friend, apologising as he always does, before going back to his business. He found it so endearing, that Tsukishima would notice these tiny, small things and help him, even through his cold ways-though he would never tell Tsukishima that, it was embarrassing. 

One incident always stood out to Yamaguchi. It hadn't happened very long ago, in the middle of summer. The day had been particularly tough to Yamaguchi beforehand, and it only got worse. He leaned against the gym wall, breathing heavily due to exhaustion. His eyes wandered around the room at the other boys. Some of them had taken their shirts off, understandable considering the heat. He bit his lip and brought his arm up a bit to have it in his line of sight. His eyes strained as he stared at it, disappointed and ashamed in himself that he could only dream to look like them. That he could never look good enough. He loathed how thin was, even if he was no where near underweight; It was just how he naturally looked. And he hated it.

A cold bottle pressed against his arm, making him shiver and let out a small squeal, his thoughts completely vanishing as he looked up to his taller friend. "Ah Tsukki you scared me!" He chuckled nervously, taking the bottle that was being offered to him. "You're doing it again." Tsukkishima said solemnly, squinting at the younger boy. Yamaguchi looked back at him, with a crooked smile. "Doing...what?"

"Doubting yourself."

Yamaguchi swallowed the lump in his throat as he chuckled very faintly, ashamed of himself in a different way. "Sorry, Tsukki.." He adverted his eyes, fidgeting with the bottle in his sweaty palms. A few silent, tense seconds strained between them before Tsukishima sighed, leaning againt the wall beside the boy. "I've told you before to stop worrying." Yamaguchi just nodded, annoyed at himself for letting Tsukishima notice his worries. He preferred if his troubles would stay inside his head, only his head, and not bother anyone else with them.

"There's nothing to even worry about, Yamaguchi. You look good." 

Yamaguchi's heart jumped into his throat as his eyes darted toward Tsukishima. The blond was looking away, subtle redness on his cheeks, however much fainter than Yamaguchi's own face. It took another quiet second before Yamaguchi's face lit up into a genuine, radiant smile. "Thank you Tsukki!" 

Tsukishima himself gave an indirect smile, seeing the other boy overjoyed. 

Sliding his glasses back with his index finger, Tsukishima's face went stern again, turning to him. "Now then. I don't want you thinking like that anymore." He glared at him. "You have bigger problems than that. Tell me next time." 

Yamaguchi nodded slowly, maintaining eye contact with the blond. He smiled again, "Sorry Tsukki, thanks Tsukki," He repeated the phrases almost as if he were a parrot, a familiarity that made him feel at ease and very much thankful. "You're the best Tsukki."

Though, even if Yamaguchi did get comfortable in his body, it didn't change how he was inferior in strength.

That realisation stuck with him, and it was most obvious as his eyes locked to the sphere barrelling towards him.

His eyes widened as realisation sunk in. That serve was nothing he'd seen before, let alone something he could ever stop. What should he do? What _could_ he do? Impact would be in under a second. He wouldn't have time to move out of the way. Moreover- he didn't _want_ to move away. It would no doubtfully be a direct point, and he couldn't let the team down. He wanted to try. He _needed_ to. But he had no time the ball was coming closer. Yamaguchi's arms began to tremble and refused to move up, to block, to do _anything_ , as the distance closed between him and the ball. When his arms finally decided to budge, it was too late. 

It was mere milliseconds from when Yamaguchi identified the situation, to his thoughts racing, to the moment of impact.

The ball brushed past his arms and plummeted into his chest.

Air left his lungs sooner than the ball left his body, which plunged to the floor as the ball circled up again. He gagged as he hit the floor, his ears ringing terribly, only barely able to hear Daichi yell and the ball being passed again, Tanaka able to get a point due to their stunned opponents. Tanaka was about to cheer but quickly stopped his celebration, as did his teammates, as Yamaguchi still lay on the floor.

His whole body ached but was numb at the same time, the room spinning around him- Yamaguchi was sure he was knocked out for at least a second. He gasped for air, coughing brutally simultaneously as he clutched his chest. Coach Ukai and Takeda were the first to rush over to him, the game paused. Ukai held him steadily as he tried to breathe, Takeda panicking and asking over a hundred questions before he'd even gotten to the boy.

Everyone was watching, even Tsukishima. Yamaguchi could see even through his teary eyes, even for a split second when he looked at him, the sheer concern in Tsukishima's face. It wasn't subtle.

His teammates came closer, all of them quite worried. "Yamaguchi!" Hinata yelled, running besides his injured teammate, though he was shut down by Kageyama pulling him back, instructing him not to smother Yamaguchi.

Ukai instructed Yamaguchi to breathe deeply and slowly, keeping a close eye on the boy. It took a few seconds before he was able to take a deep inhale, an inhale he never thought he'd be so in need for. His fingers loosened the hold on his shirt, but still held his chest. He reassured his coach he was alright, in between heavy wheezes, sitting up.

Tsukisima was one of the first from Karasuno to approach the incident besides Hinata. He knelt besides the others, looking at Yamaguchi. "I'm fine Sir.. i just..i just need to sit out for a bit." The injured boy expressed to his coach, suppressing a cough before looking at Tsukishima. He gave a small, weak smile. "Sorry Tsukki,"

Tsukishima sighed heftily, relief in the sigh, and took his glasses off, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Don't hesitate to miss it if you know you cant pass it." He declared, Hinata yelling at him in response to be more considerate. His words did sound uncaring, cold, maybe even rude. They always do. But Yamaguchi knew what he meant. He knew Tsukishima wasn't mad at him, which just made him smile more. "Sorry Tsukki,"

On the other side of the court, Aoba Johsai gazed at the scene. Oikawa gawking the most. He knocked out someone off their feet. He had that much power. One part of him was overjoyed- he could serve like _that_. That was amazing! On the other hand, another part of him couldn't believed _he knocked someone off their feet._ How could he have done that? A simple distraction made him injure someone to the point of the game being paused. He wondered if he was alright, not being able to see Yamaguchi anymore due to his teammates surrounding him. This whole situation was new. New and bad.

"Holy fuck man! The hell were you thinking??" Iwaizumi started to lecture him, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Why would you serve that hard if you were aiming at him? Are you crazy? And if you weren't aiming, why the hell not? You cant serve like that without knowing where its going! It could cost us a point or even injure someone as you just did!"

Oikawa stared at the brunette who hollered at him, swallowing hard. He knew he fucked up. He knew he had and he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it until next year. He nodded, apologising profusely, though coming out a jumbled mess. Iwauzumi glared at him and made him promise to apologise right after the game, in which he agreed immediately, as well as agreeing to sit out to sort his senses out.

Ukai helped Yamaguchi up slowly, Yamaguchi swaying as his body still felt so strange and frail. He gripped his chest again, Takeda insisting he needed to go to the medical. Yamaguchi dismissed his idea, repeating that he was fine, though everyone on the court could tell something was wrong. "Please just let me sit down for a while," He reassured his peers. "Just got the wind knocked out of me that's all." 

As Yamaguchi was led to the bench, Tsukishima squinted, an uneasy feeling still looming over him. "Go to the medical." He advised, Yamaguchi looking at him. He smiled again, "I'm fine Tsukki, go win us a set." Yamaguchi tried to sound upbeat, but Tsukishima heard the little wince in his voice, noticed how he clenched his chest harder as he sat down, how non-rhythmically his breaths were- he was not fine.

It could very well be nothing. Maybe a bruise at worst. Tsukishima walked back into position as the game was about to resume, however, the feeling still lingered. He was never the type to worry over another's injury so much, but this was different. To start he'd be taken aback if anyone was thrown backwards like that, he was sure it would hurt like a bitch. But this was also Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima knew his friend wasnt weak, however much Yamaguchi believed to be. His body could take quite a bit of battering, and he would be mostly fine. He was strong in his own ways. But it didnt mean Tsukishima would never worry about him when he wiped out on roller skates, or when he simply tripped over his own shoelaces. But his worries would fade rather quickly when Yamaguchi got up again, as strong willed as ever.

But now his worry only grew. It bothered him as the match continued. He had no reason to feel like this. Yamaguchi was awake, conscious, and said himself he was fine. But after being childhood friends for over ten years, he noticed even the smallest changes in Yamaguchi's behaviour.

No no, he was overthinking. It was probably the shock and adrenaline of the whole match heightening his worries. He could see Yamaguchi talking normally to Takeda, he was fine.

Tsukishima exhaled deeply, his mind and body not easing. He was glad this was the final set. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're heading back to school, but how's Yams holding up?

The match was over rather quickly.

Hinata and Kageyama did their freak quick, earning the team the winning point with massive cheers. Nishinoya and Tanaka were howling in victory, Asahi trying to quiet them down and refrain Tanaka from removing his shirt.

Tsukishima exhaled harshly, glad it was over. His eyes passed Yamaguchi, where his grin was beaming. Walking towards his friend at the bench, Yamaguchi went to stand up and congratulate him. Though the second his body made the the sudden sharp movement up, Yamaguchi's muscles tensed as he choked on pain erupting from his chest, almost falling onto Tsukishima. This took the blond by surprise, taking a hold of the younger boys arm to support him. Yamaguchi coughed two or three times, but took a deep breath rather quickly to calm his chest, his hand clasped on his shirt once more. 

"Yamaguchi that's not normal, I'm not convinced you're alright." Tsukishima spoke firmly to his freckled friend. Yamaguchi shook his head and gave him a tender smile, straightening himself. "No no I feel fine! Just dizzy!" Tsukishima didn't trust his statements, still holding onto him in case he would stumble over again. "Don't worry so much! We won against Aoba Johsai! Lets celebrate instead of being so gloomy!" 

Yamaguchi's attitude was impressive, always positive and looking to the bright side. Tsukishima admired that, and though he wouldn't admit, he needed it most days. It made him happy to see Yamaguchi happy. With his radiant optimism, it truly lifted his spirits- though he'd never say as such. 

And so he gave in, choosing not to press the issue for the time being. Yamaguchi seemed to be alright, he was talking and walking around fairly normally. Tsukishim let Yamaguchi praise his basic passes and one touches, how he was awesome throughout the game. He let him walk by himself to the shops with the team in order to get celebration snacks, but stayed closer than normal to him, prepared to hold him if something were to happen. He stayed by his side as he caught his breath, staring holes into him, analysing every little difference in his behaviour. He urged him to eat when Yamaguchi insisted he was a little nauseous from his accident, but did obey when Tsukishima insisted to drink water. He let Yamaguchi lean against him on the coach, even leaning his own head against his, ever so slightly.

It was unusual to say the least.

It's not that Tsukishima didn't care for Yamaguchi on every other day, he did, more than he was proud to say. But he wouldn't show it in such ways. Like everything else with the first year- it was subtle. Getting Yamaguchi lunch when he wasnt asked, carrying a few books for him, fixing his crooked blazer- very small acts of kindness that may be nothing for others, but was a lot for Tsukishima. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't even consider waiting for them to tie their shoelaces. Thats what made Yamaguchi so special. _He_ was special. Perhaps the only person he truly tolerated, and so much more. More than Tsukishima liked to admit.

It was a little past 4 pm. The sun shone brightly through the coach windows, Tsukishima watching as the leaves fluttered and circled around in the sky ever so gracefully. They were almost back at karasuno, spending just over 2 hours in the vehicle. Almost everyone was asleep, the game taking a lot out of them. Yamaguchi was included, though everyone subconsciously agreed he deserved rest the most.

Tsukishima took his eyes off the scenery and onto the freckled boy, his head resting gently upon his shoulder. He was fast asleep, having almost immediately passed out during the ride. Tsukishima took a second before tenderly moving a lock of hair out of Yamaguchi's face, gazing at him. He was rather pale, his freckles standing out even more, his faced some what strained, in which Tsukishima could only guess from discomfort. His eyes were sunken and with dim under circles. The off beat rhythm of his breathing didn't help him seem less sickly. Tsukishima could hear how.. strange his friends breathing seemed. His breaths were quick and shallows, sometimes irregular, with a dry cough mixed in every few minutes. Sometimes he noticed how Yamaguchi struggled to take a breath, taking multiple small inhales before exhaling. 

The hand on Yamaguchi's hair moved to his forehead, then his cheek. He was feverish. Tsukishima's eyes stayed fixated on Yamaguchi's face, wondering what his friend's accident resulted in. His finger caressed his cheek delicately, almost involuntarily. But there was no one that was watching him. When no one is watching, Tsukishima allows himself to be more touching, more..mushy, as he'd put it. He truly adored the time where himself and Yamaguchi were alone, as he could open up more. Though even their close friendship had boundaries, boundaries Tsukishima shamefully crossed in his mind in more than one occasion. 

His face sometimes would gravitate towards Yamaguchi's as they sat all too close together, but he'd always pull away when he realised what his body was doing, quick enough for Yamaguchi not to realise. There were days where, as Yamaguchi's face was highlighted and carved by the sun, his velvety hair fluttering in the cool breeze, his oh so bright eyes and endearing smile directed to himself and only himself, where Tsukishima wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

These thought haunted him from the day he hit puberty- only growing more intense and erotic as he aged and spent more time with his closest friend. There was so, _so_ many things Tsukishima wondered and dreamt of involving Yamaguchi. All of which were involuntary thoughts, thoughts even Tsukishima knew were too far. Yamaguchi was his friend after all, his childhood and closest friend.

Perhaps that was why Tsukishima would find himself alone in his room in the evenings, indulging himself in fantasies including him, feeling oh so good but oh so bad at the same time, only to feel disgusted with himself when he woke up the next morning. It was because Yamaguchi was Tsukishima's best friend, the only person Tsukishima could be open with and feel _truly_ comfortable and happy around- That was the reason he was the focus of obscene attention. The one and only reason, which would hopefully falter when his hormones stop.

As the bus neared their school, Tsukishima nudged his sleeping friend, making him stir ever so slightly. "Wake up, you don't wanna stay on the bus." Tsukishima warned, prodding Yamaguchi's head up using his index finger. Yamaguchi groaned softly and somewhat opened his eyes, looking up at the blond. Their eyes met, coaxing the lethargic Yamaguchi to give a sluggish smile, letting out a faint but warm chuckle. "Sorry Tsukki.." Yamaguchi murmured, rubbing his eyes. 

Yamaguchi's head still rested cosily on Tsukishima's shoulder, where it was half to do with his drowsy just-woken-up-after-feeling-like-shit-already, and half because it was nice. It was nice for both of them, so why object?

Coach Ukai began waking up the other sleeping volleyball players, earning many groans and sighs. The bus parked outside of the school soon enough, and the boys began taking their belongings and filing out onto the pavement.

Yamaguchi slipped ever so slightly from the last step of the bus, causing him to take a stumbled step down, all that was needed for him to get in a small coughing fit. He wheezed not so quietly and attempted many times to swallow down his burst, though Tsukishima's comforting hand on his back, instructing him to let it out and breathe in and out deeply, was what made Yamaguchi slowly and not so steadily regulate his breathing.

Yamaguchi apologised profusely to his teammates who gave a worried look, grinning to move attention off him. "I feel like you're lying," Sugawara questioned his statement, but was responded with thumbs up. He gave a docile laugh and nodded, looking back at Daichi.

In the sunlight, Tsukishima could evaluate his friends condition more. He didn't look alright, if his paleness and lackadaisical attitude didn't give it away, his stiff posture and rapid, short breaths definitely did. He seemed to be growing worse, and for once, Tsukishima didn't know _why_. He barely had any clues, coughing fits could be thousands of ailments, low energy having thousands more- not to mention his other symptoms that seemed to be growing.

It annoyed Tsukishima he couldn't quite put a finger on it, but it annoyed him more that he didn't make Yamaguchi see the medic during the match, and stupidly listened to his dazed friend's dictation. He hoped it was nothing, but was determinded to take Yamaguchi to the doctor's after practice, drag him if he had to, where Yamaguchi had no excused in which not to go. Until then, he'd just keep an eye on him. After all, it would greatly help the specialist determine what was wrong if Tsukishima had been noting symptoms and incidents.

The team made their way to the changing rooms, knowing fully well they still had to practice. Tanaka was the first to rip his clothes off, as usual, and the rest of the team did their routines as usual. Yamaguchi eased out of his track suit bottoms and into his shorts rather normally, though dozily, but his shirts were the problem. It hurt, painfully so, to lift his arms over his head too much or stretch them a bit too hard. He let out a satisfied sigh, followed by a stifled cough, just having managed to endure the massive pain and slide off his shirt. Though his victory was short lived, due to Tanaka's revelation.

"Ohhhhh fuck Yams that looks bad!" He blurted out, pointing to Yamaguchi's chest. 

Yamaguchi's heart fell and immediately held his shirt over his torso, his insecurities clawing and ripping into him 10x worse than ever. Tsukishima scowled and lifted his head up sharply, glaring. "Don't phrase it like that," He spoke grimly, urging Tanaka to step behind Nishinoya. Tsukishima averted his eyes back to Yamaguchi, his tone softening ever so slightly. "He means your chest looks inflamed and raw, because of the ball." 

Yamaguchi blinked and looked down at his bust. They were right. The spot where the ball had hit, where he had been feeling incredible pain, was red and sore. It wasn't a bruise just yet, but Yamaguchi could tell it will leave a nasty mark for a few weeks at least. His fingers brushed the sensitive skin, relieved he wasn't just called out on one of his biggest flaws, in his mind at least. He stayed content for several seconds, before Tsukishima glanced over at him and handed him his practice shirt, instructing him to hurry, to which he silently obeyed.

The team rolled into the gym and sat down on the court to listen to Ukai discuss the previous match and their next moves and tactics. Though boring, it was important for knowing what needed to be worked upon. Yamaguchi knew that best, though he couldn't seem to concentrate. He felt woozy, small details blurring together. He drank water as he (attempted) to listen, almost the whole bottle, in hopes of clearing his head. 

Yamaguchi didn't note the team separating, purely only realising as Tsukishima took his bottle to put away. "You're in the way." Tsukishima mentioned, looking down at him. Yamaguchi blinked slowly, his eyes rather heavy, and smiled at his blond companion. "Sorry Tsukki."


	3. Chapter 3

Yamaguchi was determined to let nothing stand in his way of improving. Even if that 'thing' was his own health. 

He took the deepest breath as he stood on the pitch. He was barely able to breathe; when he did, it would be interrupted by suppressed coughs- coughs that sent jabs of pain into his already aching chest. He was sweating, a cold sweat, that was more uncomfortable more than anything as his clothes stuck to him. He felt irritatingly faint, his body refusing to produce the energy he needed, demanding rest even after the two hour nap. Even standing took an absurd amount of effort. He couldn't lie to himself, let alone anyone else, it was obvious he shouldn't be playing.

But his scarce stubborn nature made his teammates ease their judgement, finding it rather impressive. Notably, Tsukishima was one of few who didnt back down his beliefs. He argued that it would affect everyone else's performance, where he was only met with a pouty Yamaguchi. So he gave up on the dispute, leaving Yamaguchi to practice. Even if he stayed quiet about the subject, he still had a bad feeling. A feeling that only grew stronger. 

Volleyballs began to be served and spiked through the court. Asahi began to try a new technique with his spiking, Nishinoya on the receiving end, attempting to fasten his passes. Daichi helped Hinata with his tempo's, the ginger never quite being able to do a synchronised attack. Tanaka and Tsukishima improved their blocks against Kageyama, who was meticulously perfecting his setting. This left Yamaguchi and Sugawara in partnership, the other teammates working on their own, scattered around the court.

Sugawara warmed up by himself on the other side of the net, giving Yamaguchi more than enough time to do the same- sympathetic of his condition. Yamaguchi repeatedly tossed a ball up only to catch it softly. His body wasn't cooperating, his fingers fidgeting with the loosened, bleached leather on the volleyball as sweat dripped down his forehead. Shielding his mouth with his arm to muffle a croak, he looked up at Sugawara. He held the ball in one arm and raised his other arm, gesturing for him to do the first serve. Sugawara responded in a confident but lenient thumbs up, delighted to start.

Yamaguchi dropped the ball, leaving it to roll back against the wall after an almost silent 'thud'. He crouched into position, his muscles tightening to secure him in place, more torment to his weakened state. A small nod notified Sugawara to step back, holding the ball out with his dominant arm. The volleyball went up, swiftly being hit, rather softly, towards Yamaguchi.

His fists tightened, his arms together to hit the incoming ball. He squinted, staying focused on the target requiring a great deal of concentration. He held his breath, before pushing sharply off his left leg. Bad idea. His body rejected the sudden movement, losing his already small bit of balance. Even so, he was desperate to do well- do _something_. He couldn't fall behind after all, and he needed to make up for that afternoon. His arms jutted out robustly, maybe too hard, hitting the ball back into the air in a rugged motion.

It was too much.

Yamaguchi choked on his breath, the hit straining his body to the breaking point. Toppling to his knees, he began to hack vigorously, his dominant hand clasping his chest just as it did several hours before, almost a sick irony. His chest throbbed terribly, agonising pain he had never felt before. Pain that made him tremble to the bones. His raw coughs echoed through the gym, bouncing off the walls, no matter how hard his left hand clamped over his mouth- he hit his breaking point, and his teammates new it.

Tsukishima paused abruptly with the volleyball in his hands, twisting his head to be looking at Yamaguchi like, everyone else on the pitch. He was right. Yamaguchi should have sat out of practice and went to the doctors, he should have taken it easy- instead he pushed himself; instead his conditioned worsened. But Tsukishima wasn't thinking of shoving it in his friends face that he was wrong, he was too busy being eaten up by worry and fear.

Sugawara stepped closer to the net, a sinking feeling in his gut of being the catalyst of the situation. He called out to Yamaguchi, though Asahi was first to tread besides him, being the closest to his suffering teammate.

"Yamaguchi..? Are you alright?" Asahi placed a delicate palm, characteristic for him, on his quivering shoulder as yamaguchi breathed quietly for a second. Asahi swallowed the lump in his throat as he second stretched. Looking up at Sugawara, his eyebrows furrowed as a clear sign of something being wrong as Yamaguchi still did not respond. Before Asahi could ask anything else, Yamaguchi lurched his head forward, a fit of violent coughs spouting blood out from his mouth.

The room went silent, after the initial gasp of Asahi. The whole room was startled, Yamaguchi especially. His eyes were fixated on his palm, shaking harder than ever, as fresh blood dripped from it onto the polished floor. There was enough blood to make a small, shallow puddle in his palm, the puddle decreasing in size as more found its way either down his trembling arm or onto the floor. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.

His ears rang terribly, throbbing as his eyes bulged, tears collecting inside them. Millions of thoughts bounced inside his head, yet he couldn't think clearly. Was this the end? Was this how he died? No, he had so much to live for. So much he had to do still. He needed to grow up, go to the nationals, make his parents proud, be there for Tsukishima, make his life worth it. No no, He wouldn't pass away- he didn't even know what was wrong with him. But what if he _did_? 

"Yamaguchi!" The volleyball was thrown to the floor as Tsukishima swung forward, almost slipping down onto the ground, sprinting towards Yamaguchi. The blond was the first to move from the whole team, even Asahi, being stunned to stone. Yamaguchi's head slowly and unsteadily rose, looking up at Tsukishima as he approached him. His glassy eyes wide, like a dear in headlights, completely glazed by fear. Their eyes met, and Tsukishima's heart dropped to witness his closest friend in such a state.

Tsukishima threw himself besides him, reassuring the startled boy before he even slid down onto his knees.

"You're ok, you're ok, you're ok..!" He stammered, aiming to calm his friends nerves, though it was audible through his own voice that he didn't believe his statements.

"Ts..Tsukki.." Yamaguchi gurgled weakly, scarcely able to take a breath, gawking up at his friend. Reaching out, shaking incredibly harshly, grabbing at Tsukishima, before finally getting a grip- and held on like his life depended on it. Squeezing his shirt, he leaned onto him in desperation, his words coming out of his mouth faster than his mind could properly process.

"I..I don't wanna die!...Tsukki I don't wanna...I..!" Yamaguchi cried, tears starting to trickle down his cheeks, wheezing hard after each pause in his already disconcerting speech. Tsukishima's blood ran cold, hearing his usual optimistic, ray-of-sunshine friend talk so morbidly. He wrapped his arms around the petrified boy, being sure to support him but not suffocate him. Yamaguchi's skin felt surprisingly cold, sweat drenching every square inch on his body. The blond's hand held Yamaguchi's head tenderly against his slightly quivering chest, mirroring Yamaguchi's whole shaking body- not giving a second of his thought to blood or snot getting on him.

"You won't die Yamaguchi.. Don't you dare.." He talked firmly, yet had a stagger in his voice.

"Don't just stand there! Go get Takeda-Sensei or Coach Ukai or _someone_!" Tsukishima swung his attention onto his silent team, barking orders, glaring holes at Asahi almost impulsively; standing still right beside them. Daichi flinched, snapping out of his stunned mindset first, and gave a sturdy nod.Being the Captain, he had to take some charge. With that, he turned and barrelled out of the gym, aiming to find some help- and fast.

Yamaguchi tensed up again, Tsukishima able to feel it, and yet another outburst erupted. He gagged as blood splattered out from inside him, blocking his airways for even another cough to break through easily. He yanked at Tsukishima's shirt, desperation in his voice.

"I'm going to die.. I-I cant..!-" Yamaguchi's forced cries were interrupted by Tsukishima, almost yelling.

"Don't fucking say that! You'll be fine!" Tsukishima snapped, wiping the blood from Yamaguchi's cheek. Though no matter how firm and honest he tried to make his words seem, it didn't stop tears from lining the corners of his eyes.

"..I-I can't breathe..! Tsukki..!"

"T-take a breath in- and out. Look at me Yamaguchi.. do as I do." Tsukishima instructed as well as demonstrated to the boy he held in his lap, sputtering slightly as his throat grew drier, though he tried to keep it allayed. It was forced, but Yamaguchi slowly began to inhale as he followed his friends lead. In, and out. In, and out. Slowly, the green haired boy quietened down, his lungs pulling in as much leaning his head back onto the stiff body besides him, exhausted. But he was still scared. Terribly so.

Using minimal strength, Yamaguchi slid his clammy hand into Tsukishima's. The recipient didn't hesitate in squeezing it, watching the stressed boy beneath him.

"I'm..sorry, Tsukki...i-if i had just..." He sobbed very softly in a defeated tone, barely audible to even Tsukishima. 

Tsukishima's heart sank into his stomach, his whole body tensed as he bought the boy closer.

"D-Don't you dare apologise! None of this is your fault..! You did amazing! And you'll keep doing amazing if you just..just hand in there!" Tears now trickled down Tsukishima's cheeks; though his face strained to maintain the stiff appearance, determined to stay strong for his best friend. But he was scared as well. What if these _were_ Yamaguchi's last moments? What if he got ripped away from him that very day? What would his life be like without him? They had so much ahead of them, _Yamaguchi_ had so much ahead of him. He didn't want to think about that. He couldn't. Yamaguchi needed him. For once, Tsukishima needed to give Yamaguchi the encouragement and reassurance he needed.

Yamaguchi's olive eyes were fixated up to his friend's face, tears swelling in them so much that all the blond became was a blur- but that didn't sway his focus. His friend's words echoed inside his head, his voice seeming 10x as amplified in Yamaguchi's sensitive state. A few words meant so much. A whimper escaped his mouth as he bit his lip, wanting to either foolishly apologise again or thank him for his heartfelt words. Though he couldn't do either.

He shook harder, the grip on Tsukishima's hand tightening as another frenzy began as he wept. His head dug firmer into his friend's chest, only somewhat muffling the painful coughs. Tsukishima rested his head on his in response, closing his eyes tightly. A few seconds of silence besides from the almost rhythmic chokes, made from Tsukishima allowing Yamaguchi to steady himself; petting his messy green locks in place of any words exchanged. 

"D..don't leave me..." Yamaguchi whimpered as he took in one last gasp for air. "...Please T-Tsukki..I.." Tsukishima hushed the boy as he continued, the strokes on his hair lengthening in a sign of care.

"I'm not going to..never.." He confided softly, holding back the hitch in his voice. 

The other teammates didn't know what to do or what was happening. Many of them stared in fear, Nishinoya squealed at the first sight of blood, Tanaka swearing silently to himself, while Kageyama checked the door for any sign of Daichi. But neither of them dare say anything. In any other situation they would all be rushing towards the accident, questions and screaming galore- but everyone subconsciously knew to leave the two friends. They knew they shouldn't cause another scene- for their friend's sake.

With that Sugawara felt extremely guilty. Of course he knew he _wasn't_ the reason to this, but its him who was the catalyst to Yamaguchi's present state . And he could not put that besides him; not while Yamaguchi was in such a state. The grey haired boy grabbed a clean towel before rushing over to the two boys, kneeling besides them.

"I-I'm so sorry Yam's, I didn't know it was too hard!" He stammered his apology, holding out the towel, where for a moment, his eyes met the blond's.

It was a surprise for sure, to see Tsukishima, the man who barely smiled and would say the harshest things, crying with pure emotion in his face. This was Tsukishima hiding nothing anymore, not worrying about his reputation, as he was much more worried about the possible loss of a dear friend.

It was unusual, to put it simply, but it wasn't surprising. Not at all. Who wouldn't cry if their childhood friend that's actually so much more and their only true supporter started choking up blood and not breathing while spouting grim thoughts? 

Sugawara didn't dwell on the subject, as he handed the towel to Tsukishima, knowing how worried he must be. Tsukishima delicately dabbed the blood and tears off of Yamaguchi's face, as the younger boy struggled to take a breath.

"N..not your fault Suga.." A soft murmur was directed at Sugawara, making him bite down on his lower lip. He saw Yamaguchi give the faintest reassuring smile, which pained him more. Yamaguchi was still trying to be his usual compassionate self, even with his own blood smeared on his face and clothes. The smile soon faded as he almost collapsed on the floor, if it weren't for Tsukishima's arms coddling him.

Another outburst. This one seemingly more aggressive as the coughs were harsher and wetter; the blood spouting onto the floor increasing in quantity. Tskushima's eyebrows furrowed in growing concern, holding the boy up so he wouldn't fall, reassuringly patting his back, still advising him to breathe. That was all he could do. And he hated it. He hated that he couldn't help Yamaguchi, but could only watch as he plummeted further into his condition. He couldn't put a bandage around this like he would when Yamaguchi would scrape his knee, neither could he list all the fantastic things about the freckled boy until those insecurities went to the back of Yamaguchi's head.

But even if Tsukishima could not magically make Yamaguchi's chest heal, just _being_ there was enough help for Yamaguchi. He needed his best friend. He always had, but in that moment, he desperately needed nothing more but Tsukishima. All he wanted was to curl up, right there, in Tsukishima's lap and hold onto him forever. To hear Tsukishima's soft voice whispering tender words into his ear, so softly that it would make his hair stand on ends, while being engulfed by the warmth radiating off of the taller boy from all sides as he encased him in his arms. Just them two together. Its all he yearned for. Nothing else.

But Yamaguchi needed to yearn for more. For Tsukishima's sake, as well as his own. He felt worse by the second, and it showed. Though hacking, desperate for air, his head still lay back on Tsukishima's shoulder, giving a deep sob with one of his limited inhales.

"I-it hurts..." He wailed quietly, a shake prominent in his voice. Tsukishima almost couldn't take this- it almost made him _angry_ how much suffering Yamaguchi was going through. He pressed his head against his friend's, telling him to hang in there, about to encourage him further, just as Kageyama's voice echoed.

"They're coming!" He yelled, stepping back as Daichi sprinted back into the gym, Ukai on his tail. It took under a second for Ukai to process the scene, before heading straight towards Yamaguchi.

"Is he conscious?? What exactly happened??" The coach inquired, a small gasp being let out at the small pool of blood besides them.

"You know what happened! Now call an ambulance already!" Tsukishima sneered, not caring about talking in such away to his coach. He could deal with the punishments at a different, but Yamaguchi was his priority right now.

"I called them the second Daichi informed me! Don't start with the attitude, Tsukishima, I need the details for the paramedics!" 

Tsukishima held his tongue, knowing better than to get heated over something so small at such a crucial moment.

"When Oikawa served the ball into him. You saw he wasn't ok. Everyone did but we still let him play.. fuck." He paused to firmly hit his forehead with his fist, still agitated at the fact that all of this could have been prevented.

"He's been coughing and having trouble breathing ever since, as well as chest pains. I think... the climax was when Sugawara tossed the ball- It was a normal toss but it whiped him out.." Suga looked ashamed, in which Daichi responded with a comforting pat on the back. Ukai nodded, watching as Yamaguchi took the teeniest, sharpest inhales.

"Then he started coughing up blood and...fuck, whens the ambulance getting here??" Tsukishima practically demanded, stressed out of his goddamned mind.

"When I called them, was 12 minutes. Should be around 5 now." Ukai responded, dismissing Tsukishima's tone due to the dilemma. "Can he stand? Or sit up at all?"

Yamaguchi, after being unusually docile, shook his head meekly. He pulled at his own shirt, right where the ball had plummeted.

"He cant breathe, and even if he could, he's in pain." Tsukishima answered for Yamaguchi, rather firmly, the freckled boy nodding in approval at his statement. 

Ukai looked nervous, as did everyone else in the room. The tension in the atmosphere could be sliced with a knife, it was so thick.

"The ambulance wouldn't be far. We should carry him out of the gym, we can't afford to waste time." Ukai finally spoke, looking at the poor sight of the boy. His arm went to support Yamaguchi's back, intending to lift him and carry him as his duty as a coach.

However, before he could even touch him, Tsukishima bought Yamaguchi closer to himself, hooking his other arm under Yamaguchi's legs, his other arm sliding down to his torso. With that, he stood in one, almost, smooth motion; holding a surprised Yamaguchi in his arms. But Yamaguchi didn't protest. Not just because he physically was not able to, but because _Tsukishima was carrying him_. His head dug into Tsukishima's shoulder, pulling in as much air as he could even if the shirt was restricting him. If nothing else felt good, this definitely did.

Tsukishima began to hastily walk out of the gym, his grip on Yamaguchi tight, as if he would be taken from him at any second- which was a very real possibility. Ukai followed suit, instructing the rest of the team to call the janitor and that practice was cancelled- for obvious reasons.

Karasuno was left speechless for a few seconds, before Hinata burst into tears.

"What if he's not ok?? Will he still be able to play??" He sobbed, finally registering the situation after the initial shock. Daichi looked at the puddle of fresh red liquid and swallowed a lump in his throat;

"We have to hope so." 

"Anyone else notice how...touching, that was? Just me?" Tanaka chirped up with a voice crack, trying to lighten up the mood after such a tense situation. The team looked at him, most glaring at such a statement. He put a poker face on, as he slowly walked away to collect the stray volleyballs scattered throughout the gym. Asahi sighed deeply, hurrying out of the building to find the janitor, leaving the team to collect their thoughts.

Kageyama blinked, thinking.

"He is surprisingly strong." He chimed, earning confused but agreeable expressions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know what I'm doing aghgswhvw  
> There might be some suspension of disbelief, as i have stated I really do not know every detail about an injury such as this, but I like angst forgive me pls


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